


All the Things I didn't do

by FromBenToSherlock



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:16:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6945136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromBenToSherlock/pseuds/FromBenToSherlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times the Avengers want Steve to tag along for something funny and the one time where they find out what he does instead</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Things I didn't do

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know how this happened, but the idea just came into my mind and I finished it the day after because there can never be enough Steve/Bucky feels.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this, as this is my first fic in this fandom. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcome and if you liked it, feel free to comment and leave Kudos, I'd be really happy to get some feedback from you guys.

  1. Sam



There was a gentle knock on the door and when Steve called out for the person to come in, he heard Sam’s familiar steps coming up behind him. Steve was sitting in the living room with his back turned towards Sam, facing the window. Even without looking over Steve’s shoulder, Sam knew he had a sketchbook in his lap and was probably drawing the skyline, a habit of Steve’s.

 

How he could sit there for hours on end, without any other sound than his own breathing and the scratching from his pencils on the paper, Sam would never understand. How he sat there, folded in half with his legs somehow tugged beneath him, he looked almost small if it wasn’t for his ridiculously broad shoulders, and Sam was sure that, supersoldier-serum be damned, the guy would hurt all over once he stood up.

 

The thing was, Sam knew Steve’s apartment inside out. After everything that had happened with the Winter Soldier – Bucky, Sam was still struggling with calling him that – with the fall of SHIELD and Hydra, Sam had become one of Steve’s closest friends. They shared a lot of experiences, as far as this was possible, and when Steve had asked Sam if he ever saw the possibility of moving to New York to become part of the Avengers, Sam hadn’t thought twice.

 

The decision had been easy, really. After the war and loosing Riley, there really was not much that held him in DC. What hadn’t been easy to accept was the fact that, if you decided to move into the Avengers tower, you also accepted that none other than Tony Stark was the one to decorate your apartment. He had imagined glass and steel everywhere, a lot of technical stuff he would never understand and even more excess he couldn’t yet imagine, just like the man in the gold and red armor himself.

 

What he hadn’t expected was how cozy and homey Steve’s apartment was. When Sam had voiced his concern in front of Steve, the blond had invited him over and had told him that Tony maybe had a thing for cool interior designs, but that he also never inflicted these choices on others, which had proved to be true.

 

That was how Sam had gotten to know Steve’s rooms and that was also why Sam knew that Tony had given Steve a room just for the purpose of drawing. The room had ceiling-high windows and perfect lighting throughout the entire day and night. Steve had been provided with everything an artist could wish for, the best from the best, typical for Tony.

 

And yet, Steve chose to draw in his living room, in an uncomfortable position, with some old leather-bound sketchbooks he had purchased before the war and had gotten back from the museum once he had been defrosted. Sam could only guess, but he was fairly sure that the reason was that his living room was the room in his apartment with the view out of the window directed to Brooklyn. Of course, Sam would never say that out loud.

 

Instead, Sam just leaned against the doorframe.

 

“Hey buddy, how are you doin’?” Sam asked, keeping his tone light.

 

Steve had been doing this an awful lot lately. When he wasn’t training SHIELD agents or in the gym, he mostly kept to his rooms and stayed alone. Sam knew that Steve had never been the guy for loud parties or large amounts of people surrounding him, but the solitude Steve seemed to seek out permanently started to worry Sam.

 

“’m fine, just sketching. You?”

 

Steve’s answer hadn’t been clipped, but Sam noticed how absent the Captain seemed to be. As if his sole purpose lay in finishing this sketch of a motive he had drawn a dozen times before in several varieties.

 

“Yeah, me too”, Sam answered, still aiming for light conversation, ”just came down to ask you if you’d be up for a run. We haven’t been running for a while now and I really feel the urge to be humiliated publicly again. Besides, it’s cooling down a bit now, so maybe I’ll not look half as bad as usual when I’m nearly dying of dehydration. What do you say?”

 

For the first time since Sam had entered Steve’s apartment, Steve looked up and turned around to face Sam. Outwardly, he looked perfectly healthy, but Sam already knew that he was, at least physically. What bothered him were the slightly sad features in Steve’s eyes. He just seemed tired.

 

“I’d love to, but I have to pass on that one. I want to finish that picture, it’s for Pepper’s birthday in a few days and I figured that something like that would be a good present for her since Tony is probably going to shower her in jewelry and shoes and God knows what. I want to catch the sundown, you know? I think the colors suit her. Something warm in that steely office of hers.”

 

Steve smiled a little, the same smile he always got when he said something that showed how deeply he cared about the people around him and Sam, although being a bit disappointed, understood.

 

“Man, do you ever think about how others look next to you? I was going to get her a bottle of her favorite wine or something and you just paint her a fantastic picture in only a few hours. Honestly, where’s your fault?”

 

At that, Steve started to chuckle and Sam could see that he wasn’t faking it.

 

“You should have seen me in my best times. 90 lbs. soaking wet and picking up fights I knew I was going to lose in back alleys. Everyone thought I was a huge idiot.”

 

“I don’t have a hard time imagining that, except maybe for the 90 lbs. Okay then, I’ll leave you to it. Next time then?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Next time”, Steve said, before facing the window again to complete his drawing.

 

Somehow, Sam had his doubts that the promised ‘next time’ would happen soon.

 

 

 

  1. Clint



“Hey Cap!”

 

Steve nearly spat out his coffee from shock. He hadn’t heard Clint coming into the kitchen and, looking around, he couldn’t even spot him now from where he was sitting at the kitchen aisle. He was just about to tell Tony to stop messing with Friday’s voice, when Clint spoke again.

 

“I’m here, behind you. Yeah, just look a bit higher. Yepp, here. Hey, again.”

 

Clint, currently perched on top of the enormous fridge Tony had thought was necessary to keep all of them well-fed, with his legs crossed, a Snickers bar in one hand and a can of Coke in the other one, waved at Steve with a dopey smile.

 

“Jesus, Clint, you scared me to death! I didn’t even hear you coming in.”

 

Steve could still hear his heartbeat in his ears and his throat felt itchy from where a bit of coffee had gone down the wrong way. After a bit of coughing though, everything was okay, but he still looked at Clint accusingly.

 

“Man, that would’ve been a shame. Imagine the headlines: _‘Captain America killed in breakfast-accident!’._ Didn’t mean to scare you, but I thought you with your enhanced everything would’ve known there was someone else in here.”

 

Clint took another bite of his Snickers and just looked at Steve, expression blank. His and Natasha’s antics were really something he still had to get used to. It was impossible to tell whether they were in the room or not and Clint with his affinity for high surfaces he could sit on – he was called Hawkeye for more than one reason, apparently – still managed to freak everybody in the tower out.

 

“I didn’t pay attention, to be honest, but I really didn’t hear you coming. How long have you been in here?”

 

“Long enough to know that you really shouldn’t look like this with your gross eating-habits. I mean, honestly? Eight pancakes, several slices of toast, two bowls of Cheerios and you still look like you could grate cheese on your belly? That’s ridiculous.”

 

He was just about to snort at that comment when he realized that Clint had just listed all of the contents of his breakfast.

 

“You’re one to talk about gross eating-habits with your chocolate bar. But back to the question. Clint, how long?”

 

“Depends”

 

“On what?”

 

“The time, duh”, the archer answered, obviously unimpressed by whatever fit Steve was having.

 

“Quarter past ten, 10.13, to be exact. So?”

 

“Well, in that case I’ve been here for”, Clint’s eyes shifted to the top right corner of the room, probably calculating the time that has passed, “for four hours and a few minutes. Since Nat has been gone, actually.”

 

Steve’s eyes widened.

 

“So, what you are telling me is that you have been in the kitchen ever since I entered it and you are just talking to me now?”

 

Clint just shrugged and Steve couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. For someone who wasn’t a billionaire-genius, or a Russian super-spy, a god, or an artificial intelligence, Clint was surprisingly unpredictable and weird, but in a good way. Really, what has become of his life?

 

Nursing his coffee again, Steve heard a dull noise behind him and shortly after that, Clint was rounding the aisle and sitting down right in front of Steve. He still held his can of Coke and, after a few gulps, spoke to Steve again.

 

“Why are you here at this time, anyway? Don’t you normally rise with the birds, like I do?”

 

Clint grinned into his can as he held it to his lips again, very proud of the bird joke he’d just made. It was sort of a competition between Sam and Clint, actually. A ‘Who can make the most bird-related jokes in the shortest time’ type of contest, and something everyone had already suffered from, but Sam and Clint thought they were being hilarious.

 

Steve remembered one exceptionally awful evening when they had their monthly movie day and Clint had decided to invite Kate over. Unfortunately, they had watched Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’. Natasha had fled after ten minutes into the movie.

 

“Yeah, I get it. Birds, you are Hawkeye, really funny. To answer your question: I’ve been up most of the night to watch some of the movies people told me I had to watch. The list only gets longer and longer, so I thought it was time to start working on it. So, yesterday, I had a James Bond marathon with myself and I figured that, considering I don’t have anything to do today, I could stay up a little longer and sleep in.”

 

Clint’s eyes lit up when Steve mentioned he had watched Bond movies.

 

“You like them so far?”

 

“Yeah, I do, although you really can tell the difference between the older and the newer ones. I mean, even apart from the effects, they just have changed, you know? But I like it, I like how the general style of movies has changed during time, so that’s not a problem.”

 

Clint nodded enthusiastically, totally getting Steve’s point. Of course, Clint hadn’t been around when Steve had watched his first movies in the 20s and 30s, but he also had his fair share of knowledge in that particular branch. Just like Steve, Clint loved movies and the cinema, the plush couches in the auditoriums and the fact that you can completely disappear into a world the creators of a movie have provided for others to enjoy. It was a bit like the circus Clint had lived and worked with, just with more special effects and less animal-stench.

 

“Well, if that’s the case, you can accompany me today.”

 

Steve knitted his eyebrows in confusion and when he didn’t ask further, Clint started to explain.

 

“I planned to go to the cinema today to watch the new Bond movie. The cast is said to be great, apart from Bond, I mean. One of the villains is played by a really cool German actor, an Oscar winner even, and the other one is played by some British guy, quite unknown apart from a role in a British TV show, but said to be a total madman when you put him in a suit and tell him to be evil. And the Bond-girl is kinda cute, actually. So, you in?”

 

Clint had sounded hopeful, had hoped to get Steve out of the tower after what Sam had told him about running last week, but from the expression on Steve’s face, he wasn’t lucky today.

 

“Sorry, but I have to take a rain check on that offer. I’m still quite tired and a bit spent, to be honest, like I’m about to get sick or something. I’ll take it slow today, but thanks.”

 

Steve had been polite, yes, but Clint wasn’t an idiot. Steve Rogers, more than 200 lbs. with super healing abilities, feeling a bit spent, like he was about to get sick? Too sick to watch a movie? Nothing more than a blatant lie, Clint knew that.

 

And apparently Steve knew that Clint knew, because not short after that, he put away his dishes and left the kitchen in silence.

 

 

 

  1. Tony



Tony let out a frustrated sigh. He had looked for Steve in his apartment and in the SHIELD facilities, he’d even been in Hill’s and Coulson’s office to look for him, but there was no trace of the man. How could a 6”2 brick wall just not be seen in the tower when he lived there, for God’s sake?

 

He was really tired of running around like a headless chicken. People asked him questions he didn’t want to answer, were calling his name. Why did they always talk to him as soon as he came out of his workshop? Yet again, he was reminded why he just didn’t do this, running after people. Usually, people were running after _him,_ not the other way around. Like this, he could select his encounters, which he now couldn’t.

 

When the doors of the elevator he’d all but run into had closed behind him, he sighed again. Okay, that was enough of an outing for today, as soon as he’d found Steve, he’d go straight up into the penthouse, or the workshop. The penthouse, however, was more likely. The only person who could walk in and out of it without his explicit consent was Pepper, and that was not just bearable, it was pleasant. Yes, penthouse was good.

 

“Friday?”

 

“Yes, Sir?”, the AI answered, startling Tony.

 

Even after a few months, Tony still needed to get used to the female voice of his AI. He’d often thought of changing it to Jarvis’ voice, but that would be weird, he figured, with Vision around. Then again, another male voice would also be possible, but that also seemed to be inappropriate. And rude, if it was possible to be rude to someone who, strictly, didn’t even exist.

 

“Do you happen to know where Cap is?”

 

“Captain Rogers is currently training in the fitness center, Sir. He has been there for the last three hours.”

 

Tony only groaned. The gym, really? Did that guy really need more muscles than he already had?

 

“Okay, bring me there.”

 

Tony hadn’t even finished his sentence when the elevator started to move up towards the levels of the private floors.

 

“Shall I inform Captain Rogers about your arrival, Sir?”, Friday asked.

 

“No, thank you Friday. I have a surprise for him.”

 

“That’s very exciting, Sir”

 

“Indeed, it is.” Tony said, more to himself than to Friday.

 

Maybe he could get used to her. She was quite cute, actually, as far as an AI could be cute and she wasn’t nearly as sarcastic and sassy as Jarvis had been. Of course, he’d designed her like that, but the experience itself was different from the idea. Very refreshing, actually. Tony threw the idea of changing Friday or trying out another one of his AIs over board. Friday was perfect, just as she was.

 

Just in that moment, the elevator came to a halt and the door opened, revealing the shiny surfaces on the gym floor. Everything was held in light colors and the whole floor was flooded with air and light. Pepper had wanted it that way, had said something about the gym being something that has to be inviting so that people would like to be there. In Tony’s opinion, this was nonsense, but Pepper had wanted it and what Pepper wanted, she got. Rule Number 1 in Tony’s books.

 

He passed the personalized changing rooms, noticing that some of the signs of the few guest changing rooms he had installed, had been changed. Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, James Rhodes, they definitely have had a small addition to their family of earth’s mightiest misfits. If there were more to come, and with someone like Kate Bishop in line, this wasn’t just a hypothetical thought, Tony had to think about a way to make space for more changing rooms. But that had time.

 

Tony went into his own room, all in gold and red, of course, and quickly changed into some sneakers. He didn’t want to train, but he had put much effort (and money) into equipping this gym and wouldn’t dream of wearing his dirty workshop-boots in here. Contrary to popular belief, he actually had some manners.

 

Considering it, it really was a shame that he never came here to work out like the others did. The equipment was the best you could get, the view you had while working out on the cardio machines was fantastic, there was always music to listen to or TV to watch and the shakes and smoothies Friday had learned to provide were awesome.

 

Amongst gyms, this really was heaven, especially when you took into account that there was also the possibility of getting a massage after your workout, or going into the sauna or the whirlpool, an offer which most of the Avengers took gladly. Except for Tony.

 

Even Vision worked out more often than he did, and that said more than enough considering that Vision had an Infinity Stone in his head and really didn’t need any kind of training. But he came here, anyways, just to show some spirit and be part of the team. Tony, however, never worked out, except for some heavy lifting he had to do in the workshop. With his Iron Man suit, he figured, he had enough protection and due to his transistor powers he needed his mental agilities much more than the physical ones.

 

One day, he was sure of that, he’d have to work out for his health and if he wanted to keep up with supersoldiers and gods he should put some effort in it, but for now he was okay.

 

When Tony came out of his changing room again and rounded he corner, he could finally hear it, the rhythmical bumping sounds of fists meeting a punching bag. Of course Steve would be in that part of the gym, Tony had it installed especially for the Captain, with more punching bags than you could count, jumping ropes, and, in the middle, an actual boxing ring that was only used by Steve and Natasha, who was the only one who was bald enough to pick up a fight with Steve.

 

Steve, as usual punching the bags without the gloves, didn’t notice Tony at first, he just continued to beat the bag within an inch of his life. If he didn’t want to waste even more time than he already had, Tony had to make Steve notice him.

 

“Capsicle, would you give me a second?”

 

“One moment”, Steve gritted out without turning around, before he landed one deadly punch that sent the bag flying to the end of the room, ripped open, to join the other four – no, make that five – bags Steve had taken out the same way.

 

After taking one deep breath, Steve turned around, wiping his arm over his sweaty forehead. He surely must’ve done some other workout before turning to the punching bags, otherwise he wouldn’t be so sweaty, Tony thought, and the three hours Friday had mentioned came back into his mind.

 

“What is it?” Steve asked, leaning against the wall.

 

“I just wanted to ask – There’s an exhibition tomorrow, motorcycles, old, historic ones and also some new technology for racing machines. Practically, everything a biker could wish for in one place. As CEO of Stark Industries, they’ve given Pepper two cards, but she doesn’t want to go, has never been interested in anything that is faster than a Beetle, and I thought maybe you would like to come? We could look for something new for your bike as well, or maybe a racing machine since you’ve grown fond of going into battle with them? What do you think?”

 

The thing was, Tony really wanted Steve to come with him, not just because he didn’t want to go alone and some representative of Stark Industries had to be there, but also because Steve was the only one he knew who really loved this stuff and also knew about this stuff.

 

“Sorry, but I think I’ll spend the whole day in the gym tomorrow”, Steve answered, looking down guiltily.

 

Tony could see Steve wanted to go, but something, and that wasn’t the gym, kept him from going. So, he probed on the matter.

 

“Again? Friday told me you’ve been here for more than three hours now. That’s not healthy, Cap. Give yourself a bit more room to breathe, your metabolism will do most of the work for you anyways.”

 

“I would, but I’ve been a little lazy lately and don’t want it to become a habit. Call it self-scourging, if you want to.”

 

Tony just rolled his eyes. Was that guy serious?

 

“Yeah, I can see that. You’re really hideous to look at, honestly Cap, get your shit together and work out.”

 

His sarcastic tone earned Tony nothing more than an eye roll and an exhausted glance from Steve, who otherwise seemed completely unimpressed, and Tony knew when he’d lost a fight, although he’d never admit it out loud.

 

“That your last word?”

 

“Yeah, sorry”

 

“Okay, I’ll ask Rhodey instead. Can’t be too difficult to find someone for an exhibit that has been sold out for months now.”

 

With that, Tony turned around and went out of the boxing area, accompanied by Steve’s disappointed, sad sigh and the dragging sound of yet another punching bag.

 

Once out of his sneakers and out of the gym, Tony decided it was about time to take drastic measures. He took his phone out, dialed the number and was glad hat after only one ring, his call was answered.

 

“Pepper? It’s me. They’ve been right, Wilson and Barton, he won’t come tomorrow. Said something about the gym, total bullshit. Where does this guy need the gym?” … “Yeah, I know, but this just isn’t normal” …”What I think we should do? You know the answer” … “Yes, really. Call Natasha”

 

 

  1. Natasha



Urged by Pepper’s call, Natasha arrived at the Tower only two days later with new blood on her hands and one Hydra offspring less to destroy. Under normal circumstances, it would’ve taken longer, she would’ve gotten more information out of it, but what Pepper had told her was more important. This had just been a small piece of the puzzle and after what she’d read in the files, these people wouldn’t have known anything she didn’t know already.

 

When Fury and Coulson debriefed her and she told them as much, she earned some very surprised glances from them, but they left it at that. After all that time she had been working for them, they’d learned to trust her judgment. And that was also the reason why she’d been sent on this assignment and not Steve, who had made it his personal mission to tear every Hydra facility down for the tiniest bit of information about the Winter Soldier.

 

In Natasha’s eyes, he was just wasting time. Interrogating and threatening minions wouldn’t get him further; he was just desperate, blinded by the love for his best friend and the urge to avenge him. Natasha, on the other hand, had no such qualms. They didn’t have information of value? They’ve infiltrated the agency she called her home now? Destroy them. Some people called her cruel for that, but she thought of it of being efficient. These people didn’t know what people in Hydra’s grip really had to endure, so she gave a damn about their opinions.

 

After leaving Fury’s office, Natasha stepped into the elevator and was promptly greeted by the lady of the house. And no, she didn’t mean Pepper.

 

“Good afternoon, Miss Romanov. It’s nice to see you are well and finally back in the tower again”, Friday said as soon as the door slid shut behind Natasha. She didn’t so much as flinch.

 

“Hey Friday. Thank you, I’m glad I’m back, too”

 

“Do you want to go to your apartment, Miss Romanov?”

 

Natasha considered it for a moment. She really wanted to get rid of the grim and the dirt of the last days and switch into her training uniform, which was considerably cozier, but she knew there was one thing she had to do first.

 

“Maybe later, but thank you. Do you know where Clint is?”

 

“Agent Barton is in his apartment, shall I bring you there and inform him of your arrival?”

 

“Yes please”

 

“With pleasure, Miss Romanov”

 

As soon as the elevator came to a halt again and the doors opened, Clint came into view.

 

“Thank god, you’re back, Nat!” Clint exclaimed, pulling his friend into a fierce hug. Although she’d never admit it, she quite enjoyed being hugged by Clint. He was the only one who wasn’t frightened enough by her to keep his distance, and she really appreciated that.

 

“As if there was the possibility of me not coming back. What do you think of me?”, Natasha replied with a slight smirk.

 

“Only the best, promise”, Clint answered, “but I was starting to get bored. No one would let me shoot apples from their head, do you believe that?”

 

“I do. You didn’t try to shoot them, did you? They don’t know how perfect your aim really is. I, on the other hand, do.”

 

Despite the memory of the time where Clint had hunted her all around the world, had tried to kill her, to be exact, and had almost succeeded if it hadn’t been for his heart, Natasha smiled. She remembered being taken down by an arrow, lying on the floor and waiting for the archer to come and finish the job, which he didn’t do.

 

Instead, he had asked her if she wanted a new job where she could use her skills to save people for a change. She didn’t think twice. That had been the day Natasha had met her soul mate, and that’s what she and Clint were right until today. But, as fond as the memories may have been, there was serious business to attend to.

 

“Okay, tell me, what’s the matter with the fossil?”

 

“I really don’t know. No one does, really. The only thing we know is that he doesn’t leave the tower. I guess you should see for yourself, Cap is in the living room with Sam, they watch some kind of war documentary. I’ve watched them from the vents until it became too depressing and I almost wanted to put an arrow in my own head to make it stop.”

 

Natasha only raised an eyebrow and turned around to step into the elevator again. Before the doors closed, she heard Clint say: “Oh, and Nat? Go take a shower first, you reek of Hydra.”, Clint winked, and the doors closed.

 

After a shower and a change of clothes, Natasha felt as composed as ever and walking into the large living area the Avengers used as a sort of common room. True to Clint’s words, Steve and Sam were sitting on the couch and watching some war documentary while sharing their respective war stories with each other. This seemed to work as some kind of therapy for them, which Natasha encouraged, although she would never participate in them.

 

Keeping in the background, she watched them for a while and listened to their conversation. It wasn’t spying if they weren’t in a private room, right?

 

“You know what often bothers me with those documentaries?, Sam asked with his eyes fixed on the screen. When Steve just shrugged, Sam answered.

 

“They always show the fighting parts, where you go into battle, where you are the pride of the nation, that kind of thing. What they don’t show is that most of the time, it’s nothing like that. Most of the time, it’s sweating like hell or freezing to death, depending on where you are. It’s being constantly dehydrated and underfed, sleeping on stones and never be clean. We didn’t even have enough cots for everyone, so we had to sleep in shifts or share our cots. I don’t regret my choices, but it was really hard.”

 

Steve nodded, a small motion with his head bent down.

 

“Yeah, I remember that. I had to do these small promotion clips, you know. We, the Howling Commandoes I mean, were filmed while gearing up or filing out in enemy territory. They never showed what we looked like when we came back. We all but dragged each other back to our base, bloody and dirty, absolutely exhausted. There was never enough space, at least not for the others. They had to share a tent while I got my own, and I hated it. I always shared with – anyways, it was freezing, all the time. Most people think I didn’t get the feeling, with the serum and all, but the thing is, I grew up with a constant chill, I have always been cold. I knew what freezing felt like, but I was really glad that I could at least warm Bu – the others up a bit, with my share of blankets and so on.”

 

They sat a while there in silence, still staring at the screen, until Sam snorted at what was being shown and Steve shook his head.

 

“Aw, come on man, this is a joke. They show them coming back home and being welcomed back by their families, children, pregnant wives and all. What about those who don’t have any family left?”

 

“Yeah, but you know what’s even worse?”

 

“That all of them smile?”

 

“No, I didn’t mean that. They never show what comes after. They show the heroes coming back, being celebrated, but they never show how they struggle to adjust to civilian life. They don’t show the PTSD. And what they sure as hell don’t show are the families who never get their loved ones back because they gave their lives in the war. It’s not fair.”

 

Steve’s voice sounded small and bitter, nothing like Captain America. He sounded angry. Sam clapped one hand on Steve’s shoulder and left it there.

 

“True. My parents cried when they got me back after my second tour and I told them I wouldn’t be going back, that’s how happy they were. I visited Riley’s family afterwards, and it was bad. They weren’t angry with me, but they were angry, at the world, the government. They had lost their only son, no one could bring him back. It sucked.”

 

“I can only imagine how hard that must’ve been. When I crashed that plane, there was no one left. My parents had died before, I never had any siblings, I just had... Well, there was Peggy, but she had a good life without me, so I didn’t leave anyone behind.”          

 

This was really getting out of hand, Natasha decided. If they went on like that, they’d soon need more than the SHIELD therapists they all were advised to see. Natasha silently went out of the room again just to come in again, making unnecessarily much noise to inform Steve and Sam of her entering the room.

 

“Hey fellas”, she said, walking over to them to stand behind the couch.

 

“Hey Nat, you already back?”, Sam asked, and his face didn’t really show as much surprise as Steve’s did, although he tried to sound surprised.

 

“Yeah, came back a few hours ago, have already gone through debriefing, the official and unofficial part, so Clint also knows I’m back and won’t bother you anymore. Are you two having any plans?”

 

Sam looked at Steve, who just shrugged, not meeting Natasha’s eyes.

 

“No, not really, why?”

 

“Well, I could use two sparring partners. I want to loosen my muscles a bit. Way too much crouching involved in this mission, you know.”

 

“Yeah, sure, I’m in. I haven’t done anything today, so maybe I’ll finally stand a chance against you.”, Sam joked.

 

Natasha just rolled her eyes and her look told Sam everything he needed to know. Standing a chance against her? Not in a lifetime. But the look didn’t last long before she addressed Steve.

 

“What about you, Rogers? Up for some boxing?”

 

Steve looked conflicted and Natasha could almost hear his brain groan with the effort of making up an excuse. Lying has never been his thing.

 

“Sorry, but I’ll pass. I’m – uh – actually a bit sore, have pushed myself a bit too hard the last days.”

 

Natasha, annoyed by his lie, pushed a bit further.

 

“Sore? Steve, you are the supersoldier, it’s impossible for your muscles to ache because of _yesterday’s_ workout”, Natasha pointed out, boring her eyes into him.

 

Her stare and the pressing had obviously been too much, because he stood up, ready to go.

 

“Well, I guess that just shows that I’ve really had enough training for the rest of the week. I’ll go and read a bit.”

 

With that, he went out, leaving Sam and Natasha to stare after him. Sam was the first to find his words again.

 

“You noticed it, didn’t you?”

 

Natasha just looked at him, her eyebrow raised in question, but Sam smirked.

 

“Don’t fool me, I know you listened to us. I’m not as dump as you think I am. So tell me, did you notice?”

 

Natasha nodded.

 

“Are we going to do something about it?”

 

Natasha nodded again, then she left the room without another word.

 

 

  1. Pepper



It was dinner night, a sort of tradition the Avengers, founders and newbies, held dearly. Since all of them were on different schedules and Thor even lived in another part of the galaxy, they had settled on arranging an Avengers dinner night, where they all had to come, no excuses (except for the world burning down, maybe).

 

Thor had arrived early this afternoon, his voice booming through the halls of the SHIELD facility for everyone to hear. Before he wanted to change his clothes into something more comfortable, however, he wanted to pay a visit to Coulson, a thing he always did since the events of New Mexico.

 

“SON OF COUL, I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU ONCE AGAIN. HOW HAVE THINGS BEEN AS OF LATE?” Thor roared upon seeing Coulson in the hallways. The agent just smiled, striding towards Thor to pull him into an embrace, before suggesting to retreat into his private office for a little chat.

 

“I’m fine, thank you. Let’s go to my office, shall we? You – uh – distract some of our staff, to be honest.”

 

Thor, of course, found that hilarious. But sure enough, when they turned around to close the door behind them, every single woman was staring at the god and, if Coulson wasn’t wrong, which he never was, a few men did so, too. Brilliant.

 

When the evening came and Thor had changed into the clothes Jane had bought for him to wear in Midgard (“No, Thor, metal armor and helmet is not really something we wear around here”), he went into the common area, where the rest of the team started to gather slowly.

 

The first ones were Rhodey and Sam, who arrived shortly after Thor did. With their shared history of military service and the whole flying thing, they had really grown to like each other. They stuck together most of the time when Steve and Tony weren’t around or when they felt the need to run away from the dangerous mix of someone like Captain America and Iron Man, which was most of the time.

 

Today, they’d discussed some flying maneuvers for those of the team with the ability to fly, doubting that Tony would be able, or willing for that matter, to follow the strict formation. But maybe they could convince Wanda and Vision. Afterwards, they’d tried out some of the plans, before, and yes that had been absolutely necessary for tactical reasons, flying a bit over the skyline of New York. They had to know their ways around the city, in case something happened.

 

Wanda and Vision were the next people to arrive, chatting animatedly. Just like with Sam and Rhodey, their shared powers had brought them closer together, although everyone in the tower suspected that they were closer than the soldiers would ever be. _Much_ closer. Their days almost always looked the same. If they didn’t have to participate in team training sessions or weren’t on missions, they mostly stuck together.

 

Vision had helped Wanda a lot actually, and it was only because of him that she had learned to control her powers to a degree that allowed her to use them to fly, a big surprise for all of them. The day that had happened, Tony could have sworn that Vision looked proud, although technically that wasn’t possible, with him being an artificial intelligence. They also had developed a way to use their powers with each other, which caused maximized destruction and had proofed to be highly effective when dealing with Hydra, much like Steve and Thor’s Hammer-on-Shield-thing.

 

Only a few seconds after they had taken a seat on the plush couch together with Thor, Sam and Rhodey, the _ding_ of the elevator announced another arrival. Steve stepped out of the doors, acknowledging all of them with a little smile before taking a seat next to Thor. He stayed silent most of the time, only listening to the stories his teammates told, occasionally asking Thor about any news from Asgard or to ask how Jane has been. Thor, always happy to talk about the woman he loved dearly, started to tell about how Jane has visited Asgard quite some times now and about how well she and his father Odin seemed to get along.

 

“I WOULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT IT POSSIBLE, BUT THE ALLFATHER APPEARS TO BE VERY FOND OF LADY JANE AND IS CHARMED BY HER WIT!”

 

Thor went on and on about how happy he was that his father finally seemed to accept Jane although he didn’t know what had brought the change in his father’s opinion.

 

Everyone listened to Thor and his stories right until the point where Rhodey stood up to fetch something to drink and jumped away with a shriek only a second later. The others started, looking into the same direction as Rhodey.

 

“Where the fuck did you two come from?”

 

Clint and Natasha, both perched on the seat back of the couch with their backs pressed together, looked innocently. No one had noticed them coming in and they definitely hadn’t noticed them taking a seat practically next to their necks. They looked at each other over their shoulders and smirked while Rhodey strode of to get his drink.

 

“Fucking ninjas, scaring the shit out of me, They’re lucky I –“

 

After that, no one could hear him anymore, which didn’t really matter, since now, that everyone was aware of their presence, Natasha and Clint told them about their day in the training center with the new bunch of SHIELD recruits.

 

They had been in a simulation room with a mission plan, everyone had to fulfill their assigned orders. What the recruits hadn’t known was that Clint and Natasha had altered the simulation. So, they had split into teams and had set off, only for Clint’s team to find a simulation-duplicate of Natasha and vise versa, which was about to compromise their mission. The fun part was that both, the real Natasha and the real Clint had killed off the duplicates only to look at the recruits afterwards with wild eyes, aiming gun and arrow respectively at the group of scared recruits.

 

Of course, they had explained afterwards. A good agent always knows his teammates inside and out and they had shown them the footage to make them notice the differences between the real and the fake versions. But as soon as the recruits have left, they had laughed for the better part of an hour, even earning a little smirk from Fury for their creativity.

 

When they had finished their story, the elevator opened again and Tony came in with Bruce trailing behind him. Tony looked wide-awake and energetic while Bruce looked like he could fall asleep wherever you would put him, which meant they had been at Tony’s workshop.

 

“Ohh, I always wanted to say that. Watch me, Bruce, this will be hilarious.”

 

Tony cleared his throat and yelled: “AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!” laughing about that for more than ten minutes. They all sat down at the dinner table, waiting for Tony’s staff to bring their dinner. Most of the team had insisted on cooking themselves, but Tony didn’t want to hear any of that. In his opinion, this evening was for them to enjoy and to not do anything strenuous. Of course, no one mentioned that listening to Tony’s antics was strenuous enough to be considered work.

 

After their dinner, they were just waiting for the dessert to arrive, a companionable silence had fallen, which they all were grateful about. They loved each other, but they were quite a mixture of different eccentricities. It just became exhausting after a while, so it wasn’t a miracle why they now were all slouched into their seats, happy and content.

 

When the elevator dinged again, Clint and Tony shot up in their seats like someone had pulled a switch. It wasn’t a secret that both of them would die for sweets and while the others tended to prefer the main course of their meal, Clint and Tony’s focus was on the dessert.

 

Correspondingly disappointed were the looks on their faces when, instead of someone with a loaded food cart, Pepper entered the room, still in a black costume and high heels, looking all CEO and nothing like the Pepper you could meet on Sundays, in jeans shorts and a dress shirt she had snatched from Tony.

 

She smiled at all of them and walked up to Tony, kissing him on the forehead. The woman was a saint for putting up with him and while no one really knew how she did it, the adoration in Tony’s gaze when he looked up at her was clear as day. He would do anything Pepper wanted, which she would never abuse. That’s why it worked.

 

“It’s great to see you all together and I’m really sorry to interrupt you, but there was something I wanted address as long as all of you were here.”

 

She smiled again when Tony covered the hand she had rested on his shoulder with his own, then she continued.

 

“Seeing as Stark Industries, the remains of SHIELD and the Avengers work together like we do, all in the same building, the board members of SI suggested to introduce what they call the ‘New Avengers’, meaning the new members of the team the public didn’t get to know yet. For this purpose, we would like to host an event, formal attire and all of that. This would also be a great opportunity to make some new friends or to win old friends back, which is quite necessary after all that has happened. I know that this kind of event is not your favorite, and I also know that we need the power of the whole team to get Clint to put on a tuxedo, but you would be doing me a favor. And it would be better for the public image of the team. Would you be amenable to such an idea?”

 

Of course, upon seeing Pepper’s hopeful face, they nodded. She had done so much for them, juggling SI and the public image of the Avengers somehow, that no one could turn her down.

 

“Great, I owe you one, all of you. The date would be Friday in a week, at 6 pm., does that work for you?”

 

All of them nodded again, not wanting to disturb Pepper’s carefully laid out plans. That means all of them, except for…

 

“Ehm, Pepper, would it be okay if I skipped the formal part and showed up about two hours later?”, Steve asked, “I mean, the public already knows me and there’s really nothing I could tell them they didn’t already know.”

 

“But Steve, you’re the leader of the team, their Captain. I was hoping you would introduce them officially…”

 

Steve felt the eyes of the whole team on him, but backpedalling wasn’t an option.

 

“Yeah, I know, but we all know that I’m not good at this public talking stuff, you handle that much better. And since it’s a Stark Industries event, it really wouldn’t be appropriate for me to play the host.”

 

Pepper considered it for a moment, looking suspicious, but when she looked down at Tony and he just shrugged, her features became softer.

 

“Okay, as long as you show up eventually, I’m fine with that. But you owe me one. Actually, I’m trying to convince some government official to approve of a Hulk-training-circuit in the outer skirts of New York, when you help me, playing with your charm and everything, we’re even.”

 

“I’ll be all American sweetheart for you”, Steve quipped, smiling at Pepper.

 

“That’s a promise”

 

 

+1 The one time…

Clint flopped down first thing in the helicarrier, head landing in Natasha’s lap.

 

“Why can’t all aliens be like Thor? You know, handsome and…nice. Not these glibbery, orange things with about eight legs and even more eyes. It’s disgusting!”

 

The battle had been insane, really. When the alarm had gone off in the tower this morning, they had suspected terrorists, Hydra, or anything else, but not this.

 

After Loki and New York, they hadn’t wanted any more alien attacks, but apparently they had no such luck. There, somewhere in Eastern Europe, had been hundreds, thousands of them. Orange, slimy and overall gross. They didn’t possess any threatening weapons, but their sheer number and the fact that they were able to regrow body parts if you didn’t behead them and squash the bodies made it unbearably tedious to destroy them.

 

While Clint had been shooting around with exploding arrows and Steve had thrown his shield (“Honestly cap, that was the coolest death-frisbee action, EVER!” –Quote Tony) to behead whole groups of aliens before Thor had squashed them with his hammer, Hulk had been the greatest help.

 

After some thrashing around and some smashing, Hulk had decided it was the best idea to simply lay down and roll around, flattening everything that came in his way. From that point on, it had been child’s play, but they had already fought for more than six hours. In other words, they had been idiots and no one had thought about the easiest way to kill these…things.

 

Now, they all were tired. Natasha was muttering something in Russian in Clint’s ear to lull him to sleep while she carded her hands through his shaggy hair, her guns and his bow and arrows discarded at her feet.

 

Thor and Steve sat next to each other in companionable silence while they cleaned the shield and the hammer from the orange remains of the aliens.

 

Bruce sat in a far corner of the helicarrier, covered in thick and fluffy blankets Pepper had put in every helicarrier they used on their missions, and listened to some classic music. The lullaby Natasha had worked out with him worked better with every time, but Bruce still felt drained after hulking out and needed as much coziness as possible. And banana juice. Bruce loved banana juice.

 

Wanda and Vision, together, as usual, were floating in what looked like a red and yellow bubble of their intertwined power near the ceiling. Apparently, they couldn’t hear anything in that bubble except for their own talking, but they just stayed silent with their eyes closed. It looked like they were sleeping peacefully next to each other, their hands joined to connect their powers. Steve looked up at them occasionally to memorize the whole scenery. One day, he said to himself, he would draw them and give it to them as a present.

 

Tony, Sam and Rhodey were in the front of the helicarrier, fanboying over each other’s flying skills. The whole scenery was peaceful and when Friday landed the machine smoothly, they all felt less exhausted than before.

 

A few hours later, they all were in their respective rooms, Friday’s voice sounded through all of the apartments in the tower.

 

“Please pardon me for interrupting your recovery phase, but Mister Stark asked me to inform you that this evening, at 7 pm., he will host a little party for the participants of today’s battle. Formal attire will not be necessary and refusal won’t be accepted. Have a good day”

 

Despite the groans that echoed through all private floors of the tower, every one of them was there later, slowly gathering again in the common area of the tower. The bar was equipped with everything they’d need for a good evening, Friday was playing soft tunes in the background and Tony’s staff had laid out a nice variety of snacks so that no one would have to drink on an empty stomach.

 

A bit more than an hour into the party, everyone was having fun, Steve announced that he would call it a night.

 

“Well guys, I guess I’m good to go now.”

 

“Come on, Cap, stay a little longer, be merry with us!”, Clint exclaimed from where he was sitting cross-legged on the windowsill, raising his glass.

 

Steve just smiled.

 

“You be merry without me. I want to prepare my notes for the debriefing tomorrow. Have fun!”

 

Steve turned around and while the others didn’t think to seem much of it, Natasha perched herself next to Clint, looking out of the window.

 

“You think he’s going somewhere”, Clint said in Natasha’s ear. It hadn’t been a question.

 

Natasha didn’t need to say something, she didn’t even need to nod for Clint to know that he was right, that she was thinking exactly that. She just had to wait until –

 

“There he is”

 

Indeed, there was Steve on his motorcycle, driving into the city. Clint and Natasha looked at each other for two seconds before they simultaneously set into motion.

 

“Guys!” Natasha called out, “into the cars! Now!”

 

“Why?” Tony asked.

 

“Because now we’re gonna see what the good Captain is up to when he rejects us”

 

Natasha could’ve sworn she’d never seen a man running faster than Tony in that exact moment.

 

Only a bit later, all of them were crammed into the van Tony had bought for Avengers-road trips that have never taken place, with Vision and Wanda flying behind them. Natasha was driving and Clint was sitting next to her, his laptop on his knees.

 

“You won’t believe where he stopped”, Clint said, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“Where?”

 

“He’s in the Smithsonian! At least his bike is there so I guess he’s in there.”

 

Tony groaned from the back.

 

“Honestly, we have left what could have been a perfectly good party to follow Cap because he wants to bath in his own glory? Really? You owe me, Natasha!”

 

Natasha shook her head.

 

“There must be more to it. It’s after closing time. Why does he sneak in there after closing time?”

 

“Because he wants to have his exhibition all to himself?”

 

“We’ll see.”

 

Once they were there and got out of the van, they didn’t have a hard time to sneak into the museum as well, with Natasha and Clint around. It was too easy. After Natasha had given out the coms, they split up, searching Steve in the different parts of the museum. He could be everywhere, really. Steve loved the museum, he could spend hours here, if you let him.

 

After about 15 minutes, Bruce was the one to speak up.

 

“Found him, he really is in his own exhibition. No jokes, what’s happening here isn’t funny. Meet you at the entry”

 

When they all had gathered in front of the entry of the exhibition, Bruce led the way to the spot where Steve was and he’d been right, it really wasn’t funny.

 

Sam didn’t even need to think twice about the position Steve was in, he’d seen him like that many times in the living room of his flat. Steve was in the part that was dedicated to the Howling Commandoes, facing the wall that told the story of the only member that had lost his life during the war. At least, that’s what the public thought had happened.

 

Steve’s teammates were currently looking at the face of the man that had tried to kill some of them, the man they had gotten to know with long hair and a mask over his face, the man they had called the Winter Soldier.

 

And there was Steve, drawing him, completely focused on the picture of the man he’d grown up with although he could’ve sketched it perfectly from memory. The reality was worse than anything they could’ve imagined and no one, not even Tony, knew what to say in that moment.

 

They all just watched Steve silently, watched the motions of his arm when he changed the pencil or smudged some lines with his fingers, and they were unable to move. That was, right until a sniffing sound broke the silence.

 

They all looked around in panic, trying to detect the person who’d made a sound and could’ve blown their cover. But, after a few seconds, they were still looking at each other, there was another sniffing sound none of them could’ve made with the others watching, and their heads whipped around again. Steve’s shoulders were shaking slightly with every sound he made and his head hung even lower.

 

By now, Natasha’s had enough. Without any preamble, she came out of their hiding spot, and didn’t even try to be silent while she walked over to where Steve sat. Once there, she slid to the floor next to Steve without a word and crossed her legs, tilting her head to rest it on his shoulders.

 

Steve continued sketching as if he hadn’t even noticed Natasha next to him. And, she had to admit that, it was beautiful. Of course, it was Bucky, but the guy in the picture was nothing like the guy who had stared her in the eye while shooting someone through her stomach. No, the guy in the picture was happy, he was warm and beautiful. He was sitting on what looked like a fire escape, his feet dangling in the air, his hands, one of them holding a cigarette, slug around the railing. He smiled.

 

After some more moments, Natasha heard someone else come out of hiding and soon, Clint was sitting on her other side and took her hand. It didn’t take long for Sam to show up, too. He took a seat on Steve’s other side and put a hand on his shoulder like he’d done many times before, and he left it there.

 

One after another, the rest of the team showed up. Tony, then Thor, then Bruce, then Rhodey. The last ones were Wanda and Vision, who sat down behind the team. That’s how they stayed there for a long time, as a team; a team that sadly hadn’t realized how bad its captain really felt.

 

Steve was crying in earnest now, not making any sounds, but with his face scrunched up and tears leaving wet trails all over his face. But he didn’t stop drawing, not even when his tears smudged the lines on the paper.

 

So caught up in the moment, none of the Avengers, not even those with heightened senses or spy training, caught sight of the one other person in the room.

 

He lurked in a corner, dressed in all black, with his hands in gloves despite being indoors, and watched the people before him. The girl he was sure he once knew when she had been younger, the man who flew around with wings, the man who looked like someone he once had killed.

 

None of those people had been here the last times. Except for his mission. His mission had always been here, every evening, in this exact spot, intently watching the face that was terribly similar to his own. Every time it would have been so easy to finish his mission, his last one, the one he had been told would not only have shaped the century, but the whole world. He was so vulnerable when he was here, so exposed, and he would never have fought back, like he hadn’t in Washington.

 

The thing is, he didn’t feel like he should finish the mission. It didn’t seem right, a feeling he hadn’t had for the last… he didn’t even know for how long. The mission had told him he was his friend, that he wouldn’t fight back, that he was with him till the end of line, and for some reason he couldn’t remember, that meant something, although he didn’t know what.

 

The man in the shadows turned around and slipped out of the museum silently and undetected. He was alone now, alone in a world he didn’t understand and he didn’t now how to handle on his own, with his unfinished mission in it.

 

But he had a new mission now, a mission that would help him understand.

 

Who was James Buchanan Barnes and why did the mission always come back to him?


End file.
